You know, we don't realize this often, but we all have built-in protection systems within us, don't we? A system that keeps us shielded - not like the Power Rangers' shield, which takes too long to assemble, haha! But something more like self-shielding. And as we grow up, we seem to grow out of not just our clothes but our innocence as well. We get exposed to the real world, and boy, do we explore a little too much! There's teenagehood, then adulthood, of course, mid-life (it's sad, but it feels odd to write "mid-life" without adding "crisis" at the end... sheesh!), but gradually we get partially and then completely exposed to the real world. That's when we realize Monica wasn't kidding when she said, "Welcome to the real world. It sucks! Oh, you're gonna love it." And it actually does, doesn't it?
DEAFENING SILENCE
The fact that I just heard your heart scream in agreement is deafening silence. I know it often gets on our nerves, and I mean the audacity, right? But enough about that, because we can't run away, can we? It's a geoid, for crying out loud! We'd be right back where we started. So, there's no escape unless you're into aerospace engineering. But for the rest of us, it doesn't really matter, so we look for a coping mechanism. And heck, are we good at being pretentious and obnoxious, huh? So we stay in character, absolutely uptight, pretending to "slay" as we get slayed instead.
And it will sound a little out of the blue, but buddy... no one cares. No one goes around mocking you for your people-pleasing ability, but that one voice - that one naive voice - belongs to the version of you that you presumed was long gone. The voice that belongs to a version that no longer exists for you because, duh, your soul is busy trying to align with what's trendy these days. But there sits a tired and young voice at the back of your heart, and its only source of entertainment is how you hilariously try to juggle everything and go with the flow.
INFANCY INTERRUPTS
But do you know whose voice it is? It's the voice of your infancy, the innocence you left behind when you had your first "man, this is a cruel world; I need to be careful" kind of thought. The innocence you thought you swapped out when you explored and realized you don't fit in so much, do you? So you stumped on your naivety, got yourself a new personality, and Miss Fit was all set to fit in, remember? Or, let's be a little harsh, fetch it back from the first ugly fight you had with someone you loved, who also turned out to be a complete jerk. Then it took a bunch of breakdowns, but finally, either you texted your best friend, "The world will see the new me now," or shared your feelings with your notes app, or had a "dear diary, we're never doing this again" moment and cried in front of the mirror. Later, you motivated yourself to get a new personality, a less innocent and less emotional one. Jeez, I just exposed myself!
COOL TO BE COLD?
And it's not like you don't like that version of yourself; it's not like you think it's cool to be cold and mean, but what's the alternative, right? And talking about alternatives, you also keep your innocence on the back foot because it isn't too clever or canny; it's pretty simple. It's the kind of innocence we see on a toddler's face; you know, the kind that would let you get kidnapped for a DOMS pencil? And you're just aware now that that version of you wouldn't be able to call it a day here. That part of you is a little too polite and sweet for the real world, but does that mean it's out of existence? Does that mean you need to knock off your emotions? You know, I happen to read self-help books, and one of the most common theories I concluded from those therapy pages is that protecting ourselves is somehow equivalent to completely detaching ourselves from our core and "emerging" into a new personality, but seriously?
WHEN DELUSION ISN’T THE SOLUTION
You see how people in happy relationships - any healthy relationship, for that matter - tend to explore and heal their younger selves? They feel like they "can be a kid" around their loved ones, and maybe that's because when we feel protected and comfortable, we can be naive and innocent. We don't have to be "strong" in worldly ways, and we don't have to pretend that "all is too fine." We can be our true selves, and the kid version of us gets to play around.
We all love that one cliche quote, "People change like seasons, and everything happens for a reason." And we have endless conversations about how two-faced people are and how fond they are of the "use and throw" term. But finding an alternate personality instead of altering, nourishing, and up-building your already existing one is basically being two-faced for oneself. And then we talk about how hypocritical the world is, huh? How delusional can we be to think that we need to turn into a completely different person to keep our older selves protected? Cause nuh-uh, "delulu isn't the solulu" here, I guess. That's not how the algorithm goes, buddy.
WOW. YOU’RE STILL YOU.
I think you don't alternate, but you alter instead. You don't go around turning into a different person because guess what? You can never do that. You can never change the "core you." You can never change the rock bottom. So the naivety, the infancy, and the innocence - it's still there, and you'll notice that scared old version of you comes forth a little too often. It also tries to keep in touch with you, especially whenever you're feeling your best. If you're a dendrophile, then it's nature for you; if you're an astrophile, then it's the stars for you; and if you're a pluviophile (which we all somewhat are), then it's the night shower.
NAIVETY: AN IMPACT PLAYER
And if it were gone for good, the concept of happy relationships would be a joke now. The concept of love would be a mockery and bluff because we would never trust another soul; we would always try to find the "but what if...?" meaning. There would always be a hidden "under the rug" and selfish meaning to whatever people intend to say. And the intent is what counts. But it's not like that with one and all, right? We trust a bunch, we love a bunch, and we genuinely feel for a bunch of people, and I don't see that happening with wrong intents because the Karma factor is quite popular, and you don't want to mess. And trust me, if turning into an unrecognizable person, pretending your innocence is long gone because the "world sucks," was the "key to happiness," then firstly, her dialogue would never end with "you're gonna love it," and then we would know only one kind of old monk in our lives. Pfft.🍻
Nice Content!! Keep it up 👍
Loved the content! Keep going buddy, always there!🫂